to imagine, if you can, the bliss of singing in the shower
the comaraderie of the campfire...
add beer and you have The Shmoes."
Princess Shmoe has created a MySpace site for us, so there are ongoing
updates from the band and various friends of the band there. Check in
on our MySpace profile
So far we have 525 friends and three enemies who have formed a band called
"The Shmoes Suck".
Peace unto them and their mothers and sisters too.
This stuff below is old news, but if you ain't read it it's new news, right?
week of April 15th-21st saw the celebration and adulation of the historic
Blue Moon Tavern by long-time regulars, old-time friends as it celebrated
in style. The bar even earned
by local media for its status as a living legend and reputation as
a counter-culture watering hole.
the festivies were performances by
& Thistle Band,
Deux, & appearances by author Walt Crowley (executive editor
who released an updated version of his book
BLUE MOON &
Hischak, a former Pym's Cup award winner & editor of
wait to see what the 80th will be like. Thanks to all who participated
in case there is any doubt whatsoever, Shmoe fans are hard core. Case
in point? This photo of Charlie Russell taken at the summit of Mount (friggin!)
Kilimanjaro wearing his Shmoes T-shirt in sub-zero temperatures at
altitude proves it. Our fans will go farther and crazier than
any other fans out there. We dare you to prove us wrong! Mountain
even wearing gloves or a hat!
OUTRAGE IN SEATTLE: ENTIRE BAND
by Wade Hylebos
Goode Riddance Newspapers
SEATTLE--Seattle music fans are
in a state of shock and outrage that a local band has been cloned by a
at the University of Washington health science laboratories. Dr. Jack
Oram, Nobel candidate and widely renowned genius in
the field of genetic re-engineering, announced at a November 27 news conference
that the "band was out of the bag", so to
speak, possibly in response to the Rome announcement by rival Dr. Severino
Antinori that his cloned baby creation is due in
An agitated, sweaty and animated
Dr. Oram, in the glare the hot lights and in front of the cameras, protested
that he intended
to keep his experiment under wraps until the band he created had passed
through puberty and had more than three chords in
"I'm forced to make this revelation,
partly because I'm running out of grant money," he said, "but
my cloning of an entire
band dwarfs the alleged achievement of some Italian phony who is notoriously
untrustworthy and possibly mobbed up!" There
were audible gasps among the Seattle press.
Music fans are equally outraged,
not only at Dr. Oram's ethnic insensitivity, but by his apparent lack
of any musical taste
whatsoever. Passing up the opportunity to clone such revered Seattle acts
such as Nirvana, Heart, Jimi Hendrix or Stan Boreson,
Oram instead chose an obscure and utterly talentless troupe known to their
dozen or so fans as "The Shmoes", whose only publicized
performances have taken place at a notorious dump of a pub a few blocks
from his laboratory--the Blue Moon Tavern.
"I suppose, in retrospect,
I could have chosen better genetic stock on the face of it, but look--Cobain
and Hendricks managed
to die at an early age, and the Heart girls are, to put it mildly, fat.
At least most of The Shmoes are old, and they were
willing and handy, so sue me," said the defensive but unapologetic
doctor as he nervously puffed on a cigarette.
The five Shmoes Clones are allegedly
12 years old, and living with their mother in Ballard, where they have
a really big garage
for practice space. Reports are that their friends have shunned them because
of a fondness for tunes such as "Brazil" and
the "Beer Barrel Polka", and they've already been arrested for
drinking really bad "lite" beer.
When pressed by irate music fans
about cloning a better band, Dr. Oram warned them, "Back off! I have
a DNA sample from the